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"Virus Hoax:
Urband Legend Example"
Virus Hoax Warnings: Page 56
of 57
Andy Rooney on Everything
October 2004
I keep seeing messages on the net with "Andy Roony said this," and "Andy
Rooney said that," many of which kind of sound like his brand of
sarcastic humor. However, none of them were actually said by him. All
these messages were actually created by the commedian Sean Morley as
part of his stand-up comedy act and on Saturday Night Live.
Many of these are visible on his website www.seanmorley.com in the Jokes
section.
Andy Rooney's tips for telemarketers
Three Little Words That Work !!
(1) The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..."
Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of
hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more
time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.
Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep"
tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has
efficiently completed its task.
These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.
(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other
end?
This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and
records the time of day when a person answers the phone.
This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real"
sales person to call back and get someone at home.
What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there,
is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7
times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed
the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a
shame not to have your name in their system any longer !!!
(3) Junk Mail Help:
When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return
these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their
own junk mail away.
When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything
from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw
away the return envelope.
Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs
them more than the regular 37 cents postage "IF" and when they receive
them back.
It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50
cents before! the last increase and it is according to the weight. In
that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it
in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.
One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas.
Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a
pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day,
then just send them their blank application back!
If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on
anything you send them.
You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep
them guessing! It still costs them 37 cents.
The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of
their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them.
Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best
of all they're paying for it...Twice!
Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that
e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need
to increase postage costs again. You get the idea !
If enough people follow these tips, it will work---- I have been doing
this for years, and I get very little junk mail anymore.
THIS JUST MIGHT BE ONE E-MAIL THAT YOU WILL WANT TO FORWARD TO YOUR
FRIENDS .
Copyright 2004 by Jay Jennings
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